living practical miracles
“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”
You know the Cinderella story, the truth is that relationships are certainly no such fairy tale. But you know the only TV drama that I watch, Sex and the City? No, its definitely not so complex as well.
In my quest to live a happy and purposeful life in which I live and create the exact life I desire, I find that the truth about relationships is that it is mainly comprised of a few Cs, and I have an urge to share what I have learnt about this magical topic today.
By the way, I also happen to believe that the simpler you keep things, the happier one is. Usually, I find that simplifying things gives me more capacity to use my brain on more things. But, I speak from my own personal experience, so don't simply take my word for it.
C is for Complex
By Complex, I mean our own personal complex. Our thoughts, feelings and perceptions about ourselves. This is the basic personal filter where we consciously or unconsciously give meaning to our experiences and interactions with the world, especially with our partners since they are often very important to us. 'Nothing has meaning except the meaning you give it,' basically sums up how our complex can rule our world.
So, if our complex is somewhat mechanically faulty, this faulty root would most likely trip up circuits quite easily. To fix this symptom, I usually go back to the electric board to see what's all going on down there. Usually, there would be some deep feelings or resentment against certain things I rather not have in my life. When that bugger is finally fixed, one should usually expect the following -
C is for Communication
Oh well, the age old adage of how important it is for couples to communicate effectively.
But, are you really doing it?
Have we recently reminded ourselves that Communication is most importantly Listening and Speaking?
If we simply truly listened to what our partner is saying, we would already have accomplished perhaps 70% of the needed communication. But well if we haven't even listened, we could still rely on all the fancy words in the world to bring home just a 30% success rate. Imagine if you could only fulfill your basic needs to a maximum of 30% repeatedly. It wouldn't be long till your starving tummy becomes a bloated tummy of air ready to explode any moment. Then apply this vision and imagine it on your partner - and you have intelligently decided what type of fate you really prefer.
C is for Compromise
This C I read it as Com-Promise. Traditionally meaning, a promise made mutually. A compromise also implies that the benefits and sacrifices are applicable to both parties. Compromise definitely does not mean that only one party is actively making the 'compromise', while the other repeatedly expects understanding for his/her situation but shows no empathy or adjustment for his/her partner's needs. If that is the case, wouldn't that sound more like TOS for Too Overly Stretched? I think some gentle everyday Yoga stretching is really already enough for any healthy homosapien to handle.
C is for Core Values
How very corporate sounding.. But if you find that approaching work is easier than broaching the topic of relationships and emotions, it may help to know that relationships can also be viewed as a corporation where only 2 people work in.
Beneath the surface of all the technical how-tos, the core values of the 2 individuals are the most important fundamental building blocks of the story. A couple or may have opposite interests but still thrive if they have similar core values. Because ultimately, core values are what creates a person's actions and hence his/her character. If this jigsaw doesn't fit, no matter how good one's complex, communication or way of compromise is, the puzzle may not be so complete.
Ok, that's enough about relationships today.
Writing about this has helped me crystallise my thoughts, and I hope it was useful in some way.
“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” -Einstein
create a beautiful life everyday